101 questions
001: Real Name – Kelly
002. Nickname – Kel / Kellalizard
003. Single or taken - Taken.
004. Zodiac Sign - Pisces.
005. Male or Female - Female.
006. Elementary School – Primary School: Broomfields//High School: Bridgewater.
007. Favorite Color - Purple, Lime Green, Orange, Blue, Red, Aqua.
008. How many buddies on your aim – Not a lot. About 36.
009. Screen name – On MSN? : Kelly - Souma Yergon, Sou Nou Yergon, We Are Shaking the Tree.
010. Hair Color - Originally blonde, but browney red.
011. long or short - Longish.
014. Eye Color – Greeney Yellowey Blue.
015. Are you health freak - Definitely not.
016. Height - Short.
017. Do you have a crush on someone - A little more than a crush.
018. Do you like yourself – Not really.
020. Think you're awesome – Not really.
021. Piercings – Just ears. I never wear earrings though.
022. Tattoos – I want a Gibson SG on my back.
023. Righty or Lefty - Righty.
___Your 'Firsts'___
024. Surgery - None.
025. First piercing – Ears.
026. First best friend – Charlotte.
027. First Award – I dunno.
028. First Sport You Joined - None I think lol.
029. First pet – Tilly the Hamster.
030. First vacation – I dunno.
031. First Concert – Knowsley Hall Music Festival.
032. First love – Lee
___Currently___
049. Eating - Nothing.
050. I'm drinking - Nothing.
052. I'm about to – Carry on doing this quiz.
053. Listening to - Mark Knopfler.
055. Waiting For – 2pm Tomorrow.
057. Wearing – Men's boxers as bedshorts, and an orange hoodie.
___Your Future__
058. Want Kids? - Someday.
059. Want to Get Married? - Yes.
060. Careers in Mind – Electrician, Joiner/Carpenter.
__Which is better with the opposite sex?__
068. Lips or Eyes?- Eyes.
069. Hugs or Kisses – Both.
070. Shorter or Taller – Taller.
072. Romantic, Spontaneous – That can be the same thing.
073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms – I don't care to be honest. I like a smooth chest.
074. Sensitive or Loud - Can be both.
075. Hook-up or Relationship - Relationship.
077. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? - ?
___Have you ever___
078. Kissed a Stranger –Nope.
079. Drank bubbles – Yes.
080. Lost glasses/contacts - Nope.
081. Ran Away From home - Kinda.
082. Broken any bones - Nope.
084. Broken Someone's Heart –Not that I know of.
086. Turned Someone Down – Yes.
087. Cried When Someone Died - Nope.
088. Cried at school – Yes.
___Do You Believe In___
089. Yourself –Not really.
090. Miracles – Not really.
091. Love at first sight – Definitely.
094. Magic – Not really.
095. Heaven - Not really.
096. Santa Clause – Nope.
097. Sex on the first date –Definitely not.
098. Kissing on the First Date - Whatever floats your boat.
099. Angels - Nope.
100. Is There one or more people You Want To be with right now? -
One person. 101. Would you repost this survey? =): Obviously.
Stress is beginning to take over. Yesterday I did something stupid, and I'm not going to discuss what that is or was. I just can't wait for it to be past 12 so I can go home. And go to bed. I need sleep. I only woke up at 2 this afternoon, and thats not exactly good. Even music isn't relaxing me today, I just want to get these next couple of days over with to be honest. I need a cup of tea soon. I did a Bulletin on Myspace today about my favourite 5 songs. But it didn't work and so I spent ages looking for YouTube clips and writing out the lyrics and it pissed me off. You can look them up yourself, this is the order: 1. Amazing Journey - The Who (This is the movie version.) 2. I Am An Animal - Pete Townshend (I like the demo version better but on YouTube you can only find the Album version.) 3. On Every Street - Dire Straits (This is a great song, for many reasons.) 4. Save It For Later - Pete Townshend (I like this version better than The Beat version for some reason.) 5. Telegraph Road - Dire Straits (A very long 14:21 minute song but it never gets boring.)
Firstly, it was wrong of me to put me and my friends in a position, I'm sorry if I tried to force Liam or Ryan to perform when they didn't want to. The truth is I thought I'd push myself to do something I'd never done before. I know I'm not a terrible guitarist and no matter what you think of me I know it wasn't my fault. Either my tuning keys got knocked in the Mez or someone messed with them. I only chose to do this a couple of days before. Me, Craig and Charlotte only had about an hour to practice in total, 45 minutes of that probably practicing the other song we didn't eventually choose. Mike said no one should tune on stage and I took that too literally and I don't know why.
I should have really double-checked before I went on, and I know that. I was selfish to have left the stage just because I got a little bit pissed about the fact everything wasn't perfect. I don't know why I must have been hoping for miracles. I failed Craig and I failed Charlotte. She left lessons to come practice and perform with me, all of that being for nothing.
I admit I never knew I had such bad stage fright. I didn't leave out of pure blonde-princess girl strop, I left because I just couldn't take the fact all the work we'd put in sounded so bad. I'm sorry I didn't carry on or tune up and hopefully brought it back together, I don't know why I didn't try. I should have.
I've always been scared of going on stage and performing, the fact I had to sing aswell, really brought it home, although it should have been weeks ago, and not on stage.
I'm not blaming any of you, but maybe the fact I was always being told it would be ok made it a little worse when I was proved right that it would go tits up.
I feel like I failed my friends and I was more upset at the fact I didn't get back up and carry on for their sake, than the fact it sounded terrible.
I'm definitely not saying I'm an amazing guitar player, but you'll have to take my word for it that all my fingers were in the right places, it was my strings and the effects that fucked everything over.
Although, sitting in that room and having practically everyone you know giving you hugs and telling you they still love you probably was the great thing that came out of this.
If it wasn't for today I might have not realised how many people truly care about me and take me for who I am.
Lucy, Lee, Alex, Craig, Charlotte, Gomitre, and even people I've only recently got close to - Liam, Chris, Chris, Richard, Ben and Ryan were there for me today, and I really appreciate it.
Obviously I'm going to keep my head down now. I've always been scared of going on the stage, and maybe its my fault it went wrong after all this time of brainwashing myself to believe it would. I bit off more than I could chew today, and I'll practice harder, and be better, for the people I love.
I'm sorry about today, but I'll try and be better for you - if you'll let me have a next time...
I wouldn't really say today was good. Or this week for that matter.
Sure, this time last week I was pretty high on life, enjoying it with my friends. (Apart from the fact I took my guitar to my mate's house along with my amp but forgot to bring a lead ¬¬).
Although it soon took its toll. I've been having less and less sleep recently and because of that, am finding more and more time to take it out on people. I shouldn't really. My body clock won't let me sleep any time before 3 in the morning and I've got things to do the next day which I really need sleep for. Today I feel second best to everyone and lack of sleep usually = depression.
How great.
Maybe it'll make me write some new material? I dunno.
Although really, my week as a whole, hasn't been the best. Put it that way. The strings on my guitar are about ready to snap and I can't afford new ones at the moment. I am completely and utterly skint, as they say.
So being sat here drinking a cup of tea is the highlight of my week. Feeling second best to all and nothing to anyone. Great.
So I might see you on the other side or there again I might not... ...for a while.
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Kellalizard's blogs, last updated : October 31, 2008
