These last few weeks have been quite average, I wake up at half past seven, get out of bed quarter of an hour later after the alarm clock winds me up for the last time, I stagger down stairs and into the kitchen where i consume my daily intake of weetabix with lots of milk in a massively over sized bowl, then come five to eight I am out the door and begin the almost pleasurable walk to work.
It is interesting how there is something every single morning I walk to work. one of the things i have noticed recently is the vast ammounts of snails there are panicking to get to shelter before my massive marching boots crush them. Another thing i have noticed, you know when it rains, all the worms come to the surface and have a little trek across the pavement or whatever, then the rain dries up and the worm shrivels up into this red twisted mess then becomes a hot dog for the nearest hungry pigeon looking for an easy meal.
well...
one day the other week my journey was interrupted by a rather casual little fella taking a quick look at whats on the other side of the pavement. the sad fact was that that particular pavement ran along side an insanely busy main road. one of those roads where cars, trucks, busses, motorbikes and all colours and shades of vans tear past at 62 miles an hour every 0.74 seconds only to screech to a halt a quarter of a mile down the road by a set of traffic lights with a sense of humour. anyway, the point is, this was a busy road, and this particular character, the worm, who could not see, the things that i could see, was making full steam towards the highway of death.
Immediately i stopped in my tracks, seeing what was going to happen, with the hopes that my intervention would save this poor worms life. I mean this fella (and he was a guy... no really) he didnt have a clue what he was getting himself into, how i saw it, this guy kept up he was going to die, plain and simple. So... I stopped and stooped down to try talk sense into the... worm.
"Hey kid, what are you doing?" I said to the poor creature.
"Nothing, im just exploring a bit of the surface world, as its been raining, you know a bit of adventure and all that. Im looking to aquire ultimate enlightenment and return to my kind as a wiser and more respected being. They will then love me and ill increase my odds of finding a decent mate and making lotsa kiddies. even though of course science says we worms dont reproduce in such a way, but what does science know heh."
To be honest, i was rather taken aback at this point, for a start i never knew worms could talk, nor did i know that they knew so much about science sociology and psycology, of course, that may be an over optomistic deduction to make from just a few sentences, but this was a worm, it was quite shocking. naturally I said "Oh.... right."
I let the worm continue on his journey for a few more seconds whilst i was compiling my case. "You know matey..." I said "Just a few feet in front of you, you should see, there is a very busy road with very large motor vehicles speeding up and down, if you carry on in the particular direction you are travelling, you will most certainly be crushed and splattered. Just figured id do the charitable thing and let you know."
The worm paused for a second "Well son, as it happens i cant actually see a thing, because i dont have any eyes, saying that i dont even know what eyes are and cant really comprehend what seeing is, that and quite frankly it sounds boring. Also i dont know what a large motor vehicle is, in fact as i cant see it, i dont really beleive you, i think that you are trying to trick me and cheat me out of my well deserved enlightenment, using the threat of being crushed. I know your game, but you wont fool me squire."
I was astonished, here was me, 6 foot tall crouched down on the pavement by the side of a busy road taking a verbal beating from an earthworm. I wasnt sure what to think, not only does the worm not understand what he is doing, he refuses to be helped. Still i wasnt going to give up i quickly devised a new argument that would surely save worm.
"But... cant you hear the large motor vehicles, cant you feel the vibrations in the ground, the blast of air as they woosh past at tremendous speeds, i mean why would i lie to you friend, i honestly think if you carry on the way you are going, you will...... die."
"No, no, no, my tall friend, what you can feel and hear is the sound of enlightenment and riches beyond your wildest imagination, you can only sense them now because i am so close to reching them, youll be amazed, i would suggest that you join me on my quest but i'm not fantastically keen on sharing my well deserved prize. no offense of course. that and i dont have any ears either so how do you think i can hear anything."
"I'm sorry..." i quickly added "...but i walk this route four times every day and the large motor vehicles are always there, and i see many of your kind take the trip across this particular pavement and end up either splattered or parched. I urge you to rethink your position and turn head a different direction, for your own sake."
The worm looked at me, or at least think it did, with that 'you are a fool to try and change me' look then continued on. my heart sank, i was lost for words, "...But...." I said.
"Dont worry about me Sir, I am afraid i must say good day, i have a quest to accomplish, thank you for your concern but it isnt necessary." The worm said as it creeped closer to the edge of the road. I sighed and nodded, then continued on my journey. I think the worm may have muttered somethign behind my back as i left, but whos to tell.
Sure enough later that day i saw the worm, or at least bits of it, extremely flat bits of it, splattered all over the road, my heart went out to him, I my best but you cant tell some people.
The strangest thing about the entire predicament wasnt that i stooped down and spoke to a worm, it wasnt that the worm even spoke back, and to quite an intelligent standard, in fact, it wasnt even the fact that the worm had failed to take my superior and knowing advice to follow a fantasy of enlightenment to 'score with the birds' as it were.
No, the strangest thing out of all this, is that somehow more than half of the human beings i know would rather chase some elusive fantasy they have created in there own mind than reallise that what they are chasing is death. So next time you're all feeling down, remind yourself that you a like a worm; blind, foolish and stubborn... or if you arent like a worm, remind yourself that you are not.
hugs and squeals!
Charles
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