Hey, I'm Johnnie, but I also get called JB, Johnnie B, or "get away from me you creep"
I'm just your average guy - I sleep all morning and drink all afternoon. If I have money I'll go out in the evening. Somewhere in between all that I find time to play guitar and post on the interweb. I do work - in theory - but it's way less of a priority than the sleep and the booze.
I have a cat who is almost 20 now and has gone blind and deaf and incontinent. She needs attention all the time and always wants to sit on my lap, which is a problem because, well she has no control and seemingly no awareness of her bladder. I have to put an old towel on my lap every time she wants to cuddle - she gets very distressed if I don't let her. We've been together for what feels like forever and I like her more than I like people.
I tend to swing from being crippled by social anxiety to being extraordinarily, if somewhat superficially, gregarious and charming. Being wasted all the time and also possessing very little in the war of morals, let alone standards, this has led me to engage in questionable acts that lead me to wake up feeling soiled. To anyone reading this: there's a chance I've slept with your mom. Don't worry, I feel awkward about it too.
I like Floyd Rose tremolos because I don't see the point of buying instruments that are limited in what they can do. Guys who prefer fixed bridge guitars are like those annoying hippies who talk about how much better it is to ride a bike than to drive a car - dudes, i can concede that your simple, primitive contraption is getting you by, but it still sucks.
Han shot first. The end.
In a randomised survey, 4 out of 5 respondents described me as vapid and depraved. I look up to the protagonists in Grand Theft Auto games, partly because I'd never have the motivation to do any of that stuff. Shit looks difficult man. Stressful. I'd rather watch TV.
Wanna know more? Just ask me. And get me a beer while you're at it.