Contacting IncoherentJonny
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007


Current mood: cold

home. Still. dreaming and scheming. -been writing a lot.
Needed a breath of outside air away from the laptop, so I drove to one of the city’s more ‘diverse’ neighborhood parks and tried out my grappling hook for the first time. –created quite a stir with the locals as practice clashed with theory and I was left dangling 10 feet in the air from a tree branch. Guess I don’t exactly have the 'upper body' for those kinds of activities. Back to work.   On the way to my sisters house from motel 6, I had the most traumatic train ride of my life. No, it didn’t fall off the tracks and burst into flames, although at the time I was praying that it would. This was worse. See, habitually I take the last seat in the last car of the train because I like knowing that no one is behind me, -plus it’s usually more secluded. Well on this occasion some one else had the same idea, and sat just to my left. Only this wasn’t just "some one". This was the embodiment of all that can be annoying. -A veritable cornucopia of irritating traits designed by god and aimed at me. He was in his mid 20s, and was showcasing so many of my pet peeves simultaneously that I was literally getting hot and panicked. I had shortness of breath and was swallowing a lot and sweating –like a bad fever. It was a metaphysical cyclone, and I felt like I was drowning. Ok, I’ll lay it out but i'm typing fast because the memory is too painful. First, his trusty terrycloth sweat suit was the color and texture of baby shit. Second, he had his walkman on and was blasting hip hop (“hey must be the monayyy!”). Third, he was talking on his cell phone in bad grammar, but get this, he kept his headphones ON during his pointless conversation so he had to shout to hear his own voice, and kept asking his friend on the other line to repeat themselves. (“Say what? Yo! You bring up some a dat Tennessee shwag? Say what? Ha! ha! say what?!”) Fourth, and this is the kicker, and I’m not lying: he was cracking pistachios with his teeth and spitting the shells out into my lap. I was so overwhelmed and consumed that I almost broke out into fucking hives. I started to write this blog because it was all I could do to keep from pulling the emergency lever. I’m sure the commissioner would have understood.
Last year I saw The Exorcist all the way through. I jumped a couple times, but still I slept like a baby that night. This went down 2 days ago and I haven’t slept yet.   This is Jonny signing off.
4:09 pm - 2 comments - 2 Kudos