Glam-Hammer

Is it me or do buses suck?  Suck majorly and do nothing but provide a crappy way to spend the next 10-30 minutes sitting on dire seats listening to the noises of the bus’ rusty parts clanging and the sound of weezing old people who gather around the front.  People don’t even understand what a bus is for anymore and everyone thinks it’s a free-for-all to sit around and act like cocks leaving every other passenger with the stale thought of: ’I wish you’d shut the fuck up’. 

I mean, a bus is to sit quietly on and wait until you get off.  A bus is not a place to hang out and annoy everyone else when you’re bored.  What annoys me is how hypocritical everyone is with their music.  Chavs will play the latest taped-together jingly tune as loud as they can and sit at the back like big, dumb, oxygen-wasting morons thinking they are the shit.  The same happens for everyone else who has music and everyone has the predictable naivety of the whole matter which leaves me wondering if people are retarded or what. 

No one wants to listen to your phone, shut it up. 

And what can make this situation worse then having a moron dressed in a trackie-bottom suit playing their music?  When the blonde bimbo girl decides that she can sing and her shrill, toneless voice resounds around the bus causing discomfort, annoyance and dogs to go bat-shit crazy.  There’s nothing I love more than listening to you sing...honestly.  In terms of enjoyment, it sits in between being smashed in the kneecaps with an iron bar and listening to Soulja Boy:

Above: A douchebag.

So yeah, I’m sitting there looking out the window at every happy walker who enjoys the thrill of walking and this throaty bitch starts singing along to some song on the radio tuned to a variety channel (and by variety I mean the same few songs appear every time on the bus journey but in a randomized selection - take that Socretes!).  Huzzah, my bus journey is ruined once more. 

That reminds me.  The bus is always full of the same types of people:

There’s the chavvy young mother with a little girl dressed in pink who always turns around to give you that moronic, lifeless stare. 
There’s the group of teenage friends who will either sit and say nothing or sit and say everything - each as retarded and annoying.
There’s the horde of old people (usually 3 old women or a man in a flat-peak cap or both) who climb aboard and huddle around the front.
And there’s the shifty looking ethnical minorities who look like they really need to be somewhere.

I hate public travel.  Trains are equally as stupid, overpriced and shitty. 

Oh yeah, I hate buses.

So Barack Obama is pretty much there to be the new president of America and this news has been announced so many times on the TV in the past few days that I'm getting sick of hearing one thing all the time:

Barack Obama will be the first black man to run for president

What the fuck America?  In a country of equality and home to the American dream - where everyone is supposedly treated like equals - why does it make a difference if he's black?  That's probably the biggest 'fuck you' to the whole idea of freedom, equality and shit - you're pointing out he's different to everyone else meaning he's gonna be treated differently too.  ou shouldn't have to point out he's black in the first place anyway, if it was soooo equal and all skin colour wouldn't make a difference to how you percieve a candidate. Even suggesting that it's a milestone a black dude could run for president is a racist statement in itself, showing you had no real belief it'd be successful - BECAUSE HE'S NOT WHITE.

I think everyone is missing the point with Barack Obama anyway.  Who cares if the dude is black with new some snazzy plans for America (from what I've heard it includes withdrawing from the fuck-up of Iraq and a greener outlook on shit)?  We're all missing out the coolest thing about him:

His name sounds like a Star Wars character. 

And wouldn't that be the coolest-named president ever?