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Sunday, February 26, 2012

How to deal with a troublesome band Member

Current mood: contemplative

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It may possibly be the most common problem most if not all bands come across. An issue that can make or break your bands future.
But what do you do when one of the band members just isn't pulling there weight? especially if the band member is one of your good friends.
Obviously with you been so close you want to refrain from the aftermath of been overly blunt. But you can't tip toe around this either if it's having a detrimental affect on your bands progression. 
Firstly its key to gauge how serious the other band members see the band and the problem in hand; as this will help you set the tone of what could potentially be a tricky situation.

Now unfortunately in this tricky situation there is no easy solution. To put it simply, your going to have an awkward conversation.
Now it seems to be a natural reaction that everyone and anyone automatically avoids any form of awkward communication. Afterall if this came naturally the daytime talk show industry would instantly become redundant.
But regardless of how badly you wish to find an alternative solution; communication is always the best option.
Now this may seem like I'm stating the obvious, but the real key to navigating this rocky road is how you approach the dreaded awkward conversation.
Focus on the outcome you want
Firstly you need to consider what it is you want to come out of the conversation. In most cases you'll want them to feel valued, motivated and most importantly excited. Afterall you want them to put the effort in, and to achieve this they have to want to put the effort in.
So to start, dont be too overbearing, condescending or sarcastic. You have to control your frustration and annoyance. Allowing this to creep into the conversation will create conflict; and this will ultimately lead to an outcome thats difficult to rectify.
Utilise an effective and proven sales technique: Focus on them
Those people who work in sales, or business in general, will know that the key to effective communication is to focus on your customer. Now this maybe a completely different senario but the same principle can be just as effective.
The main element of this is to make sure your not focusing on what you see as the problem. Your not talking from a perspective of "I think this" or "I think that". Focus on them and draw them into the conversation.
Achieve this by asking how they see the band progressing and what they'd like to do moving forward. Get a feeling for where they're at so you come across as inquisitive ans interested in their point of view. That way it doesn't seem your pulling them to one side to criticise them.

No-one reacts well to direct criticism so dont ask why their fooling around, instead ask what they think of your ideas, and casually drop in that their help can achieve them.
That way your ensuring you're always talking and not lecturing.
Afterall , if you can't manage to have a normal casual conversation with your best friend, then you've a whole different problem you need to address.

Finally, try and always remember...
Atsome point you were both excited about been in a band and you both at some point had the same vision. To maintain that vision as you progress, and to ensure that you remain on the same page, you must communicate and respect each others opinions.
Talking through your points of view and finding compromises should come naturally to anything you do as a team. A band is no different, and hopefully this will help prevent tricky and awkward situations arising.
if they do, then this article will help you to remember those simple and effective steps you often forget when someone is rubbing you the wrong way.


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