Sometimes I want to kill someone, sometimes someone wants to kill me. I dont really like my family, but I dont think they like me neither. My friends use me, but then again, I dont think they are my friends are they? Why cant I achieve one good goal in my life, one that will make me happy for once and not others. I literally have no reason to be here other than to poison the lives of others who are trying to do well in life. Im a leech who slowely destroys the people Im around and associate with. Nothing more than a dark cloud above them. I wish it would all just end, but I dont think I would even have the commitment to do that. Not yet anyway. I dont know how I got like this and I certainly dont want to be like this. How will it end? I dont even know.
Kudos for letting all that out. You obviously need some changes. It's all in your head and unfortunately you are the only one who can help it. Move away from your parents, stop being dependant on them. Get some decent people around you, preferably musicians. College life gives lots of opportunities. There is a lot to live for, and there are too few things in life that should really be taken seriously, which is a huge relief. Take it easy, go with the flow, but never stop guiding yourself. You've got dreams to live for, everybody has 'em. All the best to ya, keep grinding that axe !
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