Sarah was a cheerleader and had everything Until one day all her shit got fucked up... hella bad
Mom: Wake up honey. Chris is downstairs waiting for you.
Sarah: Oh Fuck! I woke up too late! I still need a shower and stuff!
As soon as those words left her dry chap lips. Chris walked into the room
Chris: Hey, hurry the fuck up and get ready I've got shit to do.
Sarah: Okay.
Sarah got out of bed and took a shower, and put some make up on, and got dressed, and walked out to Chris's rusted maroon Camero where Chris was laying on the horn in an attempt to hurry her up. She hopped into the front seat, and accidentally sat on a plastic Wendy's cup filled with ice. Chris then beat her mercilessly until he pulled into a Denny's Parking lot. Once Sarah quit crying over her deserved beating, she blew Chris and they walked inside and got a table.
Sarah sat there in silence and looked for something to drink that would help wash the cum taste out of her mouth. Something was different about Chris this time, usually his cum had a little hint of what tasted like pepper in it, but this load was missing this zesty spice. The dash of pepper in his cum that she had fallen in love with, seemed to have faded away.
Once they finished eating, and talking about the kinds of people they hate, they got up and left without tipping.
Chris: Did you get your cheerleading shit or do we have to go back to your house to get it?
Sarah checked her bag to see that she didn't have it. Sarah knew she would be beaten if he found out she forgot her things but came forward anyways because she secretly liked the attention.
Sarah: Yeah I guess I forgot it
Chris: You dumb cunt! Why the fuck do I put up with your shit!
Chris raised hand to give her the deserved slap across her already bruised cheek, but dropped his arm in anguish. He began to breath heavily and beads of sweat formed across his brow. He finally straightened up and took a deep breath and said
Chris: Fuck it. You can just sit on the bleachers and watch me cheer
They drove to the field in silence Upon arrival Sarah got out and sat on the bleachers like she was told and Chris sprang on the field for a cheerful practice. Chris was frolicking freely, practicing the new cheer.
Chris lifted up Mary for the group chant. Mary was Chris's on the side girl, but It was okay because Mary was Sarah's best friend, and also had really big breasts. Mary was the kind of girl who you would divorce your spouse for. She was way better looking than Sarah, that cunt.
Mary all of a sudden became very heavy. He became dizzy and tired, he knew he couldn't hold up this big titty bitch much longer. He finally collapsed, and Mary and her tits came toppling down on top of him. The team quickly scrambled to pull Mary off of him, in the process of which one of her tits popped out.
Chris laid there covered in sweat with everyone standing around in a panic. Everyone just stood there poking him frantically until someone got the brilliant idea call an ambulance. Then everyone pulled out their Motorola Razr cell phones and began walking around aimlessly searching for signal. This went on for about 15 minutes until someone found some reception on the roof of the tool shed, and called 911.
This was about the same time Sarah returned from giving a "blowie in the bathroom" (tm Dillon). Sarah rushed to see what was wrong but tripped because she is stupid. They were both then carried away to the nearest hospital when the ambulances arrived.
After Sarah quit bitching about her scrapped knee she was moved to the waiting room where she sat next to Chris's parents and read a month old TV guide. Finally the doctor came in.
Chris's Mom: Doctor how is my sinless child?
Dr. Balls: You might want to sit down, for this is some heavy shit.
Chris's Mom sat her plump ass down.
Dr. Balls: Your sons all fucked up and shit, like I don't even know what the fuck is up with him and shit. Like I guess he has some sort of cancer or some shit. but we're gonna do some chemo shit on him and maybe that will fix his fucked up ass.
Chris's Mom: Oh my god! Is He going to pull through
Dr. Balls: Fuck no, all this is gonna do is slow it down and shit, ya know?
Chris's mom began to weep. Her tears caused her make up to run. She ran out of of the hospital and shot her self in the parking lot. Nobody missed her because she was weak, and fat.
Sarah: Can I see him?
Dr. Balls: Whatever
Sarah walked down the hallway and into room 102, which is not the correct room. A nurse then lead her to the correct room, where she saw chris lying in bed wearing scrubs green and white scrubs. One wrist was exposed with an IV stuck in it. The other hand was tucked underneath the green covers. He had his eyes closed and looked to be asleep, so Sarah decided to sit down on the bed to wake him up. She went to set her flat ass down on the bed, but accidentally knocked the IV out, because she is stupid. She began to panic and tried to put the IV back in, but since she is stupid, she couldn't quite figure it out. After 20 times of jamming the needle into his wrist trying to fix it, a nurse came in and fixed it. Chris then, for some reason, decided to wake up.
Chris: Hey
Sarah: Hey
Chris: You see what you are fucking doing to me. Do you see what forgetting your cheerleading shit does to people!
Sarah: I'm so sorry Chris!
Chris: If I had the strength I would break your fucking legs and punch you in the cunt.
Sarah: Thats something I definitely deserve!
Chris: Yeah it is, and you can start begging for forgiveness right now.
Sarah began to cry as she reached her trembling hands out to remove the pee-pee pan from underneath Chris. Her cheeks were red and stained with tears, but she dare not let out a whimper. She tilted her head back and placed the pan at her lips. She slowly tilted the pan upward and began to drink every last drop of urine in the pan. Chris watched with glee as his significant other downed her daily serving of his pee. After the gulp was taken she lurched forward and vomited into the pan. Chris glared at Sarah, but she knew what she had to do, so she began to once again swallow her "Moons Over My Hammy." She almost vomited again but she knew she would be here all night if she did.
Chris smiled after she finished her breakfast.
Chris: You're a disgusting person, please leave me be.
Sarah left without saying a word and went home. She sat there in her room and cried herself to sleep. She kept on crying for a whole month, and then died of dehydration. When Chris was informed of Sarah's death he called Mary who came bouncing over to the hospital and tasted his less than peppery cum.
It's kind of a quirky, weird satire that you're not really sure how to digest. It's not quite serious, but it's definitely not exactly joking... it's kinda like Kurt Vonnegut, only with more sex material. Huh.
But I've got kind of the same feeling I got after I finished "Slaughterhouse-Five," so I guess that's a good thing. I feel... weird...
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Sarah Was a Cheerleader.... blog
Zach
I laughed at so many things in this story.