This is a love blog, something I posted in The Pit
Current mood: indescribable
This is silly love banter. It will be long. I suggest you stop reading now, if you're considering so. There isn't a tl;dr.
Okok. Right now, I am talking to the girl of my dreams, over MSN. She lives kinda far away from me.
I'm 16, she's 14. Like any other 14 year old? Nothing like.
She is, utter perfection.
She's been through more shit than anyone I know. I'm not going to detail, but it's something I wouldn't have been able to take. And yet, she still manages to be the most dazzling star, the most beautiful thing I've ever encountered.
I used to laugh at love songs, dislike the corniness of it all. But hell, if this is what all those old geezers were writing about, I don't blame them for a second. This feeling, is incredible. It's etherworldly. I find it hard to believe so many people have felt this. I guess it's subjective, but then, isn't everything?
My heart is ablaze. Call it corny, I would have, not one year ago. Those old geezers aren't so bad.
We have a star... Actually not a star, Mars in fact. And every night, at every chance, I stare at it, and I think of her. And I get lost in her. Many nights have passed where I sleep with a sore neck, from staring upward at that star.
A silly grin sweeps across my face at every thought of her. Which I'm lucky to go a single minute with out.
I grin a lot these days.
I hope that this is not teenage infatuation. I hope more than anything in the world. I wish, almost every night, that this won't just "pass". That we won't move on, that we won't see the error of our ways. Because occasionally I think, this is so ethereal. Please, don't let this end.
I believe in no deity. But if I ever see "God", to whichever definition of Him there is, I will thank Him, for her. The single best thing He ever did.
I'm a strange guy. I've been in what I thought was love, at the time, twice. The former, was childish infatuation with an older girl, whom I was dating. All, forgiving one, of the girls I've been with have been older. The latter, was something pretty strong. Stronger than anything I'd felt at the time, but it fucking paled in comparison to this. During that relationship, I was realising how much I loved this girl, whom at the time already was in love with me.
God, this is so incredible. I fall into sleep to the thought of her, and my first waking, conscious thought, is of her. I wouldn't have it any other way though. There's seldom a time that I'm happier, than when I'm thinking of her.
She engulfs me. This isn't real. It can't be.
There's not a word that could describe her. I've tried every single adjective I could think of. She is brilliance. She bewilders me. I'm sporting the biggest, silliest grin as I try, in an attempt quite futile, to describe her. Ablaze doesn't touch the feeling I have in my heart right now.
This has to be real, please let it be real. I can't lose this.
If I had one wish, for anything in the world, I would remove her pain. Remove the things that cause her such problems. I can't fathom how she continues to amaze me, to such an extent no less. A day has yet to go by, where I'm not overwhelmed by her, by her beauty.
This is real. I will NOT lose this.
She completes me. She is my drug, she is what I need. Simply...
I love her.
UG, I hope that one day you feel this. Every one of those old geezers knew what they were on about. I won't laugh at a love song ever again.
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Daisy_Ramirez_'s blogs, last updated : December 3, 2008
