alright, so if you read my last blog, this is an update. i've been dating cory for a little over a month now, and quite honestly, i haven't been this happy in SO long.. my past relationships have crumbled after a month but i really feel for this guy. its crazy how much i like him.. and i think the fact that he absolutely adores me makes everything so much better<3 i mean the things he says to me, the way he wants to "wait" and "take things slow" means so much to me. we have our moments, but seriosuly, the fact he doesn't rip my shirt off when we are alone or undo my belt without my consent (like every other guy i've been with basically..) it means a lot. i have high hopes for this relationship and an amazing feeling about it. i think i'm falling head over heels (:
Lately i've lost a lot of friends...i spend a lot of my time working and focusing on school because last year i did bad....i have one really good friend but i lost some best friends and i feel like shit. i don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. everyone else, EVERYONE else in my town does. no one wants to hang out with me on the weekends because thats all they do. i feel like i'm not having fun, just because i'm staying healthy.
i just want someone to care about. i haven't had a good relationship in a while... i want someone to love. I feel pathetic. I don't feel pretty. I did something yesterday I shouldn't have. I panicked because I thought something terrible was going to happen. I can't do that again...but I know I will at some point.
I don't even care if i met someone who i would never meet in person in my life. I want to feel needed to someone...This might sound stupid but I feel useless.