It has been over a year since I wrote a blog but I am inspired today but an unlikely song called The Gambler but Kenny Rodgers. I am going break this song down and talk about the life lessons in it.
Verse 1-3 "On a warm summer's evenin' on a train bound for nowhere I met up with the gambler, we were both too tired to sleep So we took turns a starin' out the window at the darkness 'Til boredom overtook us and he began to speak
He said, "Son, I've made a life, out of readin' people's faces And knowin' what their cards were by the way they held their eyes So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice"
So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light And the night got deathly quiet and his face lost all expression Said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy, you gotta learn to play it right"
You might not see anything in this, but there is something. Listening to old people. They are willing talk about life and advice if you are willing to listen. Sometimes you find wisdom in their words. Why? Most of them have been there and done that. They have made mistakes and some of them learn from them. It could save you a lot time and some pain just by listening.
Chorus "You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away and know when to run You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealing's done"
Life is a gamble. Every step you take is a gamble. Sometimes you break even, sometime you win, and sometimes you lose. You have learn how to handle it. You have truly have to know when to fold them, when to hold them, when to run, and know when to walk away. The more you learn about life the better choices you will make. You will break even more often and win more often. You are still going lose. Everyone makes mistakes. None of us are perfect.
Verse 5-6 "Every gambler knows that the secret to survivin' Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep 'Cause every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep
And when he finished speakin', he turned back towards the window Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep"
Every choice is a winner or a loser. Why? There is right choice and there is wrong one. Be thankful when you make the right choice and take some pride in it. Sometimes for some of us, that winning hand is rare. Here the good part, the losing hand can sometimes be a blessing. Sometimes there is victory in defeat.
How can this be? I joined the army last year. It's didn't go well. I went though the worst depression I ever had and I was discharged during Basic Training. Bad moment? Yeah but this is how I answered that with little help from some friends and family. I came back home and the only person who would let me stay with him was my best friend. I got a job at a local Mcdonalds. I worked my ass off for seven months. I saw guy repairing a grill there once and I asked him what kind of school did he go though. His answer was hvac. I never thought of doing this as a career before. I called my papa who is Maintenance Coordinator with an Apartment Management company. I asked him where I could go to school for HVAC. He admitted to me that he was looking for a job within the company for me. A week later he called me about a job interview. My boss turned out to be my uncle best friend of 25 years. I became a grounds keeper. I know you guys are thinking what does that have do with HVAC. It's a start in maintenance. I just don't do grounds keeping, I also do maintenance here. I am learning the trade on the field while going school for it. We work on plumbing,heaters, Air Conditioners, electrical and basic apartment maintenance. I also during this time I reconnected with an old highschool girlfriend and got engaged. So in my failure, I was blessed with more then I ever thought. We now live where I work. I can afford to pay the bills and live somewhat comfortable.
Sometimes failing is not a bad thing. Don't be afraid to fail. Try new things. Gamble. Gamble your ass off. Remember when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run. Cause they will be time for counting when the dealing is done. I hope you found your ace that you can keep.
Some people don't like to hear that Challenges, Failures, and Regrets are something in life to make us better. Challenges, Failures, and Regrets no matter how they come, make us stronger. They make us who we are. They make the foundation of our life.
There are a few ways you can look at this. You can look at it and crumble. Or you can do this. Overcome. You look the challenge in the face and you kick it in the balls. You take no prisoners and you find the confidence to say hey, I am not done for. You never give up and you never quit.
The fact is this. Challenges and failures should be look at as gifts. I know this may seem offensive to some but hear me out. They make us stronger, they make us a better person, and they teach us how to live. We learn to overcome things in life. We learn that giving up is never an option. We learn that we have no regrets when we learn from our mistakes.
We must stand in the face of these challenges and accept that we may fail. If you fail, you must learn to stand back up and keep moving. This is what life is. Life is not sunshine and rainbows. Life is a battle. It is going have good times, and it's going have dark times. You have to learn to stand against the darkness and carry on.
" Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
-Plato
We should always be kind and respectful to any one we meet. We should show some warmth to everyone. The smallest gesture can go a long way. It can make someones day, and ultimately bring good karma to you. I remember taking a driver improvement class where the teacher was impressed but how well we behave and interacted with him. We treated him like a human being and for that he reward us. A small gesture can go a long way.
When you are in a supermarket, look at the person in front of you? Do you know anything about them? The answer most of the time will be no. You know nothing about who they are or what they are going through. A problem may be small in their life but it can still be eating at them in one way or another. They may have no problem. It doesn't matter. We should treat them with respect because they are human beings. We should want to help everyone. We can make the world a better place, if we would treat every one like a human being. Give them hope for no reason.
"We can tell other people about - having faith. What we had faith in. What we found important enough to fight for. It's not whether you were right or wrong, but how much faith you were willing to have, that decides the future." -Solid Snake
What can we all have faith in? Each other. We can fight for each other. We can fight for happiness around us. We may not be able to reach to the whole world but if we can reach one person with kindness, then we have done something. We can make an impact in someone life just with the smallest gesture.
"Be Kind, for everyone we meet is fighting a hard battle." Plato
Edit: Side note, I am sorry about the sorry about the size of the font changing. I tried to fix it but no avail would be had.
Dreams are one of the most important things to have in life. I am not talking about the kind you have when you are sleeping. I'm talking about what you want to do in life. Dreams are something to fight for and something keep close to the heart. They are inspiration when all hope is lost. They make us who we are. Will Smith once said:
"Don't let somebody tell you, you can't do something. You got a dream, you got to protect it." "Greatness is in all of us… There's no shortcut to success… Lay one brick at a time. Focus on making a difference… Represent an idea, You have to believe it… Nothing is unrealistic. Our thoughts are physical… You really gotta focus. Attack your fears… Be willing to die for the truth And lastly… Protect Your Dream… Focus "
What he is saying is that you must fight for your dream. You have to focus and fight for it to make it a reality. You have to want it. You have dig deep down with inside yourself and push yourself. You have shut the negative thoughts and keep moving. You have to learn to take the hits. You got be willing to take a few bullets and risks in your life. You got learn to cope with failure. You have to be self confident. You have to be willing to do anything. Keep your faith and willpower to keep you moving. You have nothing to lose.
Remember it is not about how you hard you hit, it about how much you can take. It about how hard a storm can hit you, and you keep moving. Don't ever quit and give up. When you quit that is when all hope is lost. Quit is word that can not be in your vocabulary. Protect your dreams and fight for them.
I have wrote a few blogs now, but I believe it is time to review some of it and recap certain parts with some new insight. I'm going start with the Secret of life.
The Secret of Life:
The secret of life is very simple and people easily over look it.The secret of life is finding happiness in one self. You have to find out who you are. You have to find what you want in life. How many of you know who you are? Most of time I heard no from that question.
I have been getting a lot of replies saying that is easier said then done. Guess what? I know I have done it. Life is not a walk in the park. You have to put effort in it to get something out of it. You have to want it. You have to be able and willing to fight for it. If not do you think you life is going to be successful. The answer is no. If you do nothing, you receive nothing.
You have to take a look at your life. What are you good at? What are you bad at? This is important. Self evaluation is a important thing. It allows you to look in the mirror at yourself. It allows you to accept your flaws and finding a way to solve them. This will ultimately make you a better person. It is not easy.
"Clam up Newbie! I wanted you to think about yourself... AND I MEAN REALLY THINK!... What are you good at? What do you suck at? And write it down. Not so I could read it, or anyone else could read it. BUT SO YOU COULD READ IT! You see in the end Newbie, you don't have to answer to me, or to Kelso, or even to your patients for Gods sake! The only one you have to answer to Newbie, is you!" - Dr. Cox
"There are no magical fixes... Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy."- Dr Kelso
I want a relationship because I can't be happy without one or I need this person:
This is a lie you are living. This is can not be further then the truth. The truth is you aren't happy with yourself. You feel you need someone to be there, so you can feel some self worth. How you can break out this? Not dating anyone is the first thing you need to do. It is time to figure out who you are. You need find a way to cope with your emotions. Only you will be able to do that, not some one else. Which leads to next part of this blog.
Self Worth and Purpose in life:
Self worth and purpose in life go hand and hand. If you are down in the dumps, and you feel you have no purpose in life. My question to you: Have you done anything about it? Once Again, no effort no gain.
How do you find purpose in life? Looking inside yourself. What do you enjoy do in life, what is your dream? Do you know? Do you know what you want out of life? These are the questions you should be asking yourself. Find those answers. You will find your purpose, and self worth will come along. When you find that dream, protect it. You have to, cause no one else will.
"Don't ever let somebody tell you that you can't do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People who can't do it themselves. They want tell you can't do it. You want something, go get it period."- Will Smith
What if it is too hard?
Nothing in this world that is worth it comes easy. The right thing is always the hardest to do isn't it? We all will hit a crossroad at our life where things seem to hard to carry on. This is crunch time and where we find out who we really are. This is where we find out how strong we are. This is where we become stronger and gain wisdom.
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That´s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying: You ain´t what you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain´t you! You´re better than that!" -Rocky Balboa
You may read that quote and go what is point? The point is the truth in the quote. Life is not a walk in a park. You have to put the effort in to get somewhere in life. There is going to be pain, there is going to be sadness, there are going be dark times, and this is when you need to be your strongest. This is where many people crumble. You have to stand against the world and look it in the eye. This is where you say nothing is going stop me. You can't give up on it. You are worth something. You are worth something to yourself. You are your own life line to keep living. You only get one shot at this life. Make something out of it.
"Life is for living,folks. Don't let a number be anything other then a number. Don't let someone tell you that you are too to do this or too old to do that. Stay in life. Life is a gift, it is a joy. Don't drop out of it."- Dick LeBeau
Confidence:
This a very important quality of life to have. You have to have confidence to be successful. You have to take risk in life to be successful. You have to be able step out of your comfort zone. The best quote I ever heard on this:
“You cannot achieve success without the risk of failure. And I learned a long time ago, you cannot achieve success, if you fear failure. If you’re not afraid to fail, man, you have a chance to succeed. But you’re never gonna get there unless you risk it, all the way. I’ll risk failure. Sometimes, half the fun is failing. Learning from your mistakes, waking up the next morning, and saying ‘Okay. Watch out. Here I come again. A little bit smarter, licking my wounds, and really not looking forward to getting my ass kicked the way I just did yesterday.’ So now, I’m just a little more dangerous.”-Paul Heyman
See that word Risk! That's life. Life is a risk, it's a gamble. You have to take chances. You can't sit back and wait for things to happen.
How to solve this problem: 1. Get out and do things. 2. Take risks 3. Learn to cope with failing and dont let it discourage you. 4.Profit.
Have some faith in yourself. Take a step into the world and put yourself out there. Be yourself and have fun with it.
Mindset:
The misconception is that keeping the positive attitude in not easy. That is not true. The hard part is changing the mindset. Changing mindset takes a lot. Its facing yourself in the mirror. Facing feelings that are hard to accept. Facing the truth that stares in your face. Its about waking up to see things the way they are. You have learn everything you can from mistakes, then leave it behind. You don't dwell on it. Once you this is figured out, youre set. You will be able to conquer any challenges in life, with the mentality that you can make it. You can, anyone can. It takes will power.
How can I get that right mindset:
1. Don't care what others think about you. This can be a major pitfall.
2. Look at yourself. What do you like, what you don't you like? What were my mistakes that you need to learn from. How can you fix this?
3. What do I want to do in life? This something you must figure out. You need something to shoot for in life.
4. What do I want out of life? You need to find this out, its important, once you know what you want out of it. The game has change. You know what you want. You just need to find it how to get it from that point.
5.Stepping up and moving forward. Get out and move towards what you want. You are have to work for it. Nothing in this world comes easy.
Overcoming and Willpower:
You must take action in your own life. You can't sit around and wait for someone to help you, you will get nowhere. You can't wait and do nothing, because nothing will happen. Yes, sometimes luck shines down on us, but it you don't use it. Nothing will change. You have to have some will power to fight against it.
I believe inside of us is there is a fire that burns. The secret is embracing it and using it to push forward. Using that fire to not give up. The word quit can not be a word you know. You have tell yourself this:
Well world, I would like to say. Screw you. I will make it through this.No matter, how hard it is, how hard you hit me, I'm going to stand up. I'm going keep moving. You can throw all the shit you have at me. I will take it, I will stand back and I will aim right at your at heart. This is how I pray: Living isn't hard enough, burn me alive inside.... I'm strong, I'm disciple, I'm worth something to me. I am worth something to someone. I don't know who they are, but Im worth it to someone. Im a warrior, Im a soldier of life. I will knock you down and defeat you. I will take you by storm. I will take you to school. I will never let my weak side get me again. I will become more arrogant, and I will more prideful, because I will not fail myself ever. I will not fail myself ever. I will not take your shit anymore world. You can hit me, but you better knock my ass out. I learn something from all my pain. When I give up faith, all hope is gone. I learn something from myself, Im strong, and I will not give up!
Some guys in the HT, was not getting what Im was trying to say with cutting contact, so I figure I would do a blog on it.
Cutting Contact is important thing in a break up. It gets the person out of your face so you can start to deal with your emotions. Have the person in your face will not better you or help you move on. The point is cutting contact is to move on. See when you have someone in your face that broke up with you trying to be friends with you, it isn't going to help. Why? Many reasons.
1. You will never be able to get over you feelings for them. Which is not good. You keep falling for them and getting hurt when they say no.
Or/and
2. You become into something like the FZ. While you are still emotionally invested, they are not. They also will use you ever chance they get, because they know you are there. They may do it without realizing it.
3.They will finally move on, and you will be stuck there, heartbroken once again.
That just some of the reasons. People go well I can't cut all contact because of work, they are in my clique of friends, or we have kids. Work, only talk about work related things, and be mature. Friends, a casual mature convo is okay when you out as a group, otherwise nothing. Kids, just talk about the kids and the kids' interest at hand.
Another question that came up. Cutting contact forever? No, you cut contact til you are over them and have move on. You then can make an effort to be friends after. So I hope this wraps this up.
People to often use drugs as a crutch. They decide to hide behind the excess of them. This can lead to many problems, not developing proper coping skills, to more serious like addiction. A beer every so often is ok, but when you start using them to run from your problems is when it becomes a problem.
Not dealing with your problems and hiding behind a substance will make the problem worst, and you will repeat your mistakes. I could preach forever on addiction, but you guys have heard it. So, I'm going a different way with this.
As long you are hiding behind a substances from your problems, nothing will be solve. As long as you keep using them, the more you will want them. That is the addiction talking to your brain. The problem is now the substance, because it has took over your life.The thing you need to do is kick them. Treatment can be found in rehabs, church, clinics, or you can have the willpower to do it yourself. You will have to kick the habit.
Once you have done this, you should refocus on starting to rebuild your life. Focus on the your mistakes, learn from them. A failure is a gift, cause you can learn from it. You take all you learn, write it down, or log in your head. Apply it, everyday. If you fall one time, it is okay. You fall seven times, to get up eight. It is how you get up that counts. Don't let a substance become you. Stand and fight it.
Self confidence is not over night thing, but its essence of life and success. You can't be afraid. You can not be afraid to fail. If you do not take a shot, you will fail. You have step out of your comfort zone. “You cannot achieve success without the risk of failure. And I learned
a long time ago, you cannot achieve success, if you fear failure. If
you’re not afraid to fail, man, you have a chance to succeed. But
you’re never gonna get there unless you risk it, all the way. I’ll risk
failure. Sometimes, half the fun is failing. Learning from your
mistakes, waking up the next morning, and saying ‘Okay. Watch out. Here
I come again. A little bit smarter, licking my wounds, and really not
looking forward to getting my ass kicked the way I just did yesterday.’
So now, I’m just a little more dangerous.”-Paul Heyman
See that word Risk! That's life. Life is a risk, its a gamble. You have to take chances. You cant sit back and wait for things to happen.
How to solve this problem: 1. Get out and do things. 2. Take risks 3. Learn to cope with failing and dont let it discourage you. 4.Profit.
You're on way. Its not hard, but it's not overnight. Don't waste your life, the worst thing you can do. Get out there and take risks.
You must take action in your own life. You can't sit around and wait for someone to help you, you will get nowhere. You can't wait and do nothing, because nothing will happen. Yes, sometimes luck shines down on us, but it you don't use it. Nothing will change.
You are the only one who can help you. People can try to help you, but you must want to change. No one can help you, til you help yourself. You must take action in your life and take it by the balls. Cause if you don't life will beat you into ground and eat you alive. It will drive you mad, and control you. It will bend you out of shape if you let it. Stallone said it best, and I have quoted this many times.
"Its not how hard you can hit, its about how you can get hit, and keep move forward."-Stallone
Its not some quote from a movie, its a statement of life. You have to be able to take hard hits and keep kicking ass through life. Don't ever say its too hard because you're already quitting on yourself. "Nothing in this life worth having comes easy."-Dr Kelso
Nothing is this world come easy, you have to work for what you want. You have to put the effort in to overcome. You have to have some will power, push yourself to the limits. You must not know the word quit. You are entitled to overcome for one reason, you are human. We all have sins, we all have our lows, we all have our past, and it's how we learn from them that count. It's how we handle ourselves now that count. Its how we move on from them and live our life now that matters. If we do not correct ourselves, we will fail into the same pits traps.
How can get that right mindset:
1. Don't care what others think about you. This can be a major pitfall.
2. Look at yourself. What do you like, what you don't you like? What were your mistakes that you need to learn from. How can you fix this?
"Clam up, Newbie! I wanted you to think about yourself... and I mean really think!... What are you good at? What do you suck at? And write it down. Not so I could read it, or anyone else could read it. But so you could read it! You see in the end, Newbie, you don't have to answer to me, or to Kelso, or even to your patients, for God's sake! The only one you have to answer to, Newbie, is you!"- Dr Cox
3. What do you want to do in life? This something you must figure out. You need something to shoot for in life.
4. What do I want out of life? You need to find this out, its important, once you know what you want out of it. The game has change. You know what you want. You just need to find it how to get it from that point.
5.Stepping up and moving forward. Get out and move towards what you want. You are have to work for it. Nothing in this world comes easy.
Getting over break up can be rough and difficult. It depends how much you cared and how hard you take it. The good news is that it's not the end of the world. Its actually a new beginning for yourself. Its start of the next stage of your life. That is not a scary thing, though it may look that way.
The steps of moving on:
1. Accepting it, accepting its over.
You have to accept that its the end of this. You shouldn't try to win the person back. Its a big . Back off, and leave that person alone. You will be thankful you did. You need accept the facts, this is the first step of anything.
2. Cut contact, constantly having this person in your life, is not going to help you at all.
Cutting Contact is important thing in a break up. It gets the person out of your face so you can start to deal with your emotions. Have the person in your face will not better you or help you move on. The point is cutting contact is to move on. See when you have someone in your face that broke up with you trying to be friends with you, it isn't going to help.
3. Taking a looking in the mirror at yourself. Did I do anything to bring this on. Did I do anything to cause this? The answer most of the time is yes.Find your mistakes and fix them.
This is a key part of life. You have to accept your wrongs and learn from them. You are doomed to repeat yourself if you don't fix the mistake.
4. Focus on yourself. You have to find happiness in yourself. I have wrote a few blogs on this.
From here, you can make a lot of changes. You can focus on what you need to do to improve yourself. You can find your flaws and improve them. You can mentally prepare yourself better for life. Focus on what you want to do in life and what you want out of it then follow it. Find someone that fits in your life, not someone you have to work in.
5. Getting out and finding new people or what you decide you need.
This is explains itself. If you feel you can date again, then date and find out about people and see if they are the kind of person you want to be.
If you feel you want to stay single, then do it. Focus on your goals.
. Back off, and leave that person alone. You will be thankful you did. You need accept the facts, this is the first step of anything.