A Famil(y)iar Face __________________________________________________ ______________________________
I used to have a theory that parentage was the idea of instilling values and morals of a decent nature into children and it seems we all fail. But shockingly in reality its nature is so contradicting. Double standards issued by the dominant "role models" with such examples being "privacy", where upon the the child is encouraged to part with words they may not be comfortable to speak in anyone's company. Yet the adult(erers) set such an example by maintaining their privacy in "adult" issues. Everyone acts differently around their peers and it's so hard for the empowered to understand and they never will because at any attempt of explanation an opinion is underlined as rebellion or contempt. So we shape human beings and breed children like animals by using excessive physical force and I can say my backside still burns red at the stinging of a thousand slaps.
Is this violence our decaying society? Where words offend as much as the actions that give them meaning? He won't care anyway. Only his opinion is right. He always wins. There's nothing you can do. Submit to the stranglehold. Make your father proud. You'll let him down one day. The pressure is always there. You're always tied and bound. You'll never be free because in this life we don't do things democratically. You don't have a voice and when they tell you to shut up you know damn sure to give them your silent obedient consent. Or find yourself on the scrap heap. And they accuse you of acting like you don't care in this one-way relationship. (Doesn't that contradict the meaning of the very word "relationship"?)
I'll never stop paying my thanks for how I've been brought up (I wasn't dragged up that's for sure), and there's a difference between respect and disagreement. Disagreement will always exist so why not deal with it rationally and responsibly - like an adult one could say. but it doesn't mean I appreciate the incessant ruse to act on someone else's accord. Would you rather be proud of a child for standing up for what they believe? Standing for a diplomatic solution to family disagreements, rather than threats of say: violence, financial abandonment or simply out-casting? Funny how nation states act in a nearly identical way. When will families stop acting like institutions and governments? And actually play a part in coercing this splintered world.
Just another reason to hear you say my name, would be like learning to ride my bike again. I fall and you're the stinging scratches, Still there's an overwhelming satisfaction, That beats this underlying irritation, you are. There is no right way to take that: no one's perfect I guess all I can ever give to you is my honesty, but You're the nearest perfection was to ever being correct. And before I wrote this, I had to stop to think: Yeah, I'm scared and I don't know if I should But I guess I'll do this anyway Because it's never easy to say I wish I had you here for a valentine's day.
I'd be lying if I saw this as an achievement, Sometimes I just get high on feeling torment. I wonder is this emotional virus laying dormant? Just waiting to be unleashed upon ourselves and And I guess I want you to know I've meant what I said, I don't like the way these thoughts are led. To you. And again right back to you. It's always to you. Nothing new. Just to you.
Something I decided against writing inside an anonymous Valentine's card.
False Dichotomies __________________________________________________ ______
Their uncovered tracks weave from Mossadeq's casket to the buried putrifaction isolated in Rwanda. Another million cries unheard and swept beneath business contracts and more financial attraction. How can they argue and place their finger and put it down to apathy without a thought that it might be their fault. They've simplified satisfaction, re-wrote the script to create this fetid faction. Video games to replace education, but the minutes they writeup at their meetings, spell out concerns over voter turnout. How can we not distinguish between murder en masse in foreign countries but murder on our own streets? Such rare distinctions in moral values, why are they not the same? why do we not treat them the same? Murder is murder. Just because it's dressed up to look like work and compliments your national interests doesn't mean it's any more important than sorting out the streets. But then again, to much surprise - is it any wonder why there's killing on our streets when they see what the troops our doing on tv? And yet we should respect and honour these compatriots. Please accept my aplogies if I'm not weeping in my union jack hankerchief when hearing their eulogies. I'm tired of being observed as a bad cliche.
Inspired ny right wing nutjobs. Kinda cliche but tried writing in an intellectual way - propagandhi-esque.
Rejection ___________________________________
Well every day I try to make my feelings be known A rookie move again and the shit's been blown A roll of your eyes and and a tilt of your head cues The preceeding cocktail of excuses and lies.
Like getting higher hanging from a thin thread A dangerous game the wrong move and it's dead Same old stories and the same old cover ups About how it's everything but my fault.
This rejection from everything I know. This rejection from everyone I ever want. Rejection and it's driving me insane.
Sick of fiction giving me pretext for a future Sick of having to listen to another lecture Always consistent in being back of the line, My self-esteem is flawless in decline.
This predicament cannot be misunderstood, It's just comprehension of the daunted Well I'm taking the path of feeling sorry And I'm taking the lead of hopelessness to...
This rejection from everything I know. This rejection from everyone I ever want. Rejection and it's driving me to insanity, And back again.
My words only ever write bad fucking luck An identical script from my never-ending book I'm being complacent and she's taking control This time I won't hide away or play my role Not gonna be your laughable reject.
All optimism just disappears in time. Loneliness is starting to call herself mine. Signed our wedding vows on the dotted line Surely my misery is a sure bad sign? Of this rejection, further rejection. Rejection and it's driving me to insanity, And back again.
I wrote this after listening to a lot of old Green Day, so that's the influence behind it. Just meant to be pretty simple really. About trying to get a girl, but always beign brushed off as insignificant as there's nothing about you to set you from the pack.
Defined By A Card (It's Your Identity). ______________________________________________________________________
If nationality combined with the prospect of identity didn't tempt us enough, would we still search to forge stronger divisions in boundaries (or more familiar: borders), to relieve ourselves from the pressure of fitting in? Territory is never the issue until some dumbfuck has the bright idea of using it to define the people within it - misconceptions born within heritage. Broad generalisations held at ransom by the hands of "diplomats" to use national identity to herd all the sheep. To excuse any comprehension that the remaining populus may have about policy objectives. The objectification of human opinion that stems from torrents of constantly protracted, converged political viewpoints. Still fickle minds find reason in their conjecture, to scapegoat anyone that doesn't quite fit the demographic. Let the evidence show the employment of Israeli tanks to the streets. An incident personified to represent what our national identities achieve: so-called "civilisation". Doctor Ezzeldeen Abu al-Aish lost his three daughters in an Israeli bombing; committing their life to serving peace. A reward for Palestinian and Israeli lives he saved: an occupation of his homeland and starvation of his fellow countrymen alike, to join the 3 child caskets in the funeral urns. Another cause for further divide. And we still wonder why Hamas rockets are being fired into Israeli territory? So fucking naive to the Zionist media overseas. Another minor blow for peace. The first one being struck in 1948 where an Isreal was set up as a homeland for one religious sect and ONE only. How can we expect understanding between cultures and societies, when we allow certain sects a means to hegemony. When will anyone have the jurisdiction to stop putting up with this bullshit zionist bow to strength and nationalism? And my only prayer: This pre-concluded, box-cutter ideology should be overdue to be brought to its end in sacrilegious procession. Don't simplify their jobs as bureaucrats by bowing to the pressure they bestow upon your back with excuses of "security". Only you are the decider in your true identity. Your passport can't take that away. Yet.
Making Not-So-Important History __________________________________________________ ____________
You'd have thought that sometime within the first decade of this new millenia, we could profess the advancement of the human race's evolution. You could be forgiven for believing that this life is a re-enactment of planet of the apes. (Don't forget we share 99% of the same DNA). Yet despite the obvious familiarity we shrud our shoulders in insignifcance while we wipe out any significance that they should be allowed to maintain as a functioning mammal like us. Animals living in our jurisdiction that they should be insuboardinate human subsidies. So maybe I sense justice that although we burn their beds we're slowly killing any chances of a healthily existant world for our future sons and daughters. For every tree burned. For every emission of profitable gases. Another melting ice cap is perched amidst the antarctic, adding importantly to the point at which the brink of history is re-defined in the sense that history is all we'll be. We'll all be history someday. Hopefully not today, or hopefully today for some. Am I the only one that's embarrassed, to burn the bridge we all stand on to eradicate the fear of when it finally collapses?
The Devil In You((r) Angel) __________________________________________________ ______
There's an equation but I don't know the ins and outs. There's a lot of numbers but I can't count to the right amount. I'm sweating thinking about the times I thought of you. I've been dreaming recently about forgetting all of this. Can you see the hypocrisy? Maybe so. Maybe not.
Wake up screaming. Gasp for breath. Suck the reality into your lungs. The bitter taste. The sweetest revenge will never be good enough for me. It would be impossible to equate a fitting end for you.
The blank walls in this cell you have me locked in Have anecdotes about the devil written about the angel. He says the angel is the devil in disguise. How would you not know? The sparkle of the halo won't blind my sight to see through. The twinkle of those eyes won't help me avoid the lies you spoke.
Don't throw stones from your glass house. I'm not trying to protect you. Just everyone else. When it shatters they won't pick up the pieces. They won't clean the mess. No one wants to cut themselves. Where's the logic in putting yourself on the line for a dying breed? Ask a whale. They'll keep hunting until they've got you in the keep. I'm tired of drinking myself to sleep. That's a double-whammy.
This truth serum won't erase the past. I won't re-align my loyalty just to forgive it. Evaluate the chances that we will recover after death. I think not.
I had my suspicions about his existance. You fortified that one alright. Solid as gold. For fuck sake. How could the silver lining have turned so grey? How did that sweet smell of revenge turn to shit?
I guess you're gone. And now I feel even more alone. Is it possible to turn back time? I try my best to kid myself. I just broke it by trying to turn it back in my head. I fucked it up just like you. But I'll never be the same. No. I'll never be as bad. I'd rather be without you. I'll perform my own biopsy before I start to think positively about you. And I'll help perform your autopsy when I'm finally rid of you.
Always refute an angel. They might turn on you.
Dependency Rules The World And I'm King. __________________________________________________ _______ I've been told the world is my oyster But not a sign sign of that valuable pearl. My failed attempts to liven things up Conceeded to the dull ache behind my eyes Lost sleep is the enemy of good time.
I've fought against the most uesless inhibitions To a bloody end, bloody screams from my will again. Pointless friends built their pointless facades long ago Guilt trips cost less than romantic holidays it seems.
Here I am again standing at the harbour's end. Watching the ship in the distance sink below the sea. Another time for another place for another one It slips between my fingers into inexistence again.
I need a reason to act on what I think, But I'm not sure if what I think is anything I know, Or if what I know are the things I believe anymore.
A selection of emotion. All I ever had to act upon. Two roads to follow. To the treasure or dead end. Ambition succumbs to apathy we never shed a tear. When we waste away to clocks just to under achieve. We can't take this on. We'll never take it all.
The warning light doesn't flicker or fade. It never initiates from the start. A deleted memory. An edited storyline. As your back turns again, I let my eyes burn A gaping hole through your skull for dependency.
One more try for the past? One more try. One more second for the hours? One more try. I don't have shit to waste until it comes to you But the billowing smoke from the warning signal won't ever let me see this through.
I've tried and tried to flood the ocean for this. I can finally hold my hands up to my failed theses. No re-birth of the past. Not a regret worth to last. I won't hold on to myself if I rely upon dependency.
Can agree we'd never be enough? The world will catch us in the end. Will I apologise profusely? Everything will always depend.
Dear Fool, Love Your God. __________________________________
As the dark clouds engulf the sky They can't erase the imprint of this light, The moon's beam so powerful in the night.
The swirls of the clouds Fail to wipe this mystery away, Like the indecision I await. Is there a deity here to stay? Where we die to be acclaimed? To irrelevance or our fame?
A sweeping motion. A bright light, to a shade of grey. A deathbed, we predict to lay In a ditch of dirt we'll rot away. Is there any help of knowing? A solence for us? Not quite.
Repression. What is there for us to do? Will we dissipate to our fears? When our functioning seizes to exist? (What is that purpose anyway??) Retainment. Retainment of my pride. I will know before my memory subsides I rejected to sleep in the comfort, Of this blanket of potential lies.
Why are we so sure? What happens when we start to fade? Will these bright lights turn grey?
Some common ground. Can we please lay. We're in the dark. What can we say? Believe what you will. Reality is a bitter pill. Inexcusable. You have to swallow. Acceptance of this. Our only chance. Is more importance than believing In an afterlife just by perchance.
As the dead skin peels From my burning lips Smokey air begins to whisp And infatuate my mind How did this come to be? This world so unknown to me.
Don't fall into the animosity. You don't have to die by the sword, Just 'cos you lived by it from day one, No one will escape whatever takes them away.
Release the sling and watch the shit fly. A nation in turmoil but no one knows why. Political consistency has failed us again. Amusement gathers to watch the middle ground. Crumble in a fight for power amongst themselves The normality has passed it's sell-by-date. The banality of everyday politics Has hit the deck as it waits for impact Of the collapsing economy. Millionaire professionals spash out On swarve suits and ties. Where's the justice of their mismanagement? The noose of redundancy It's time it dangled above their heads.
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Adam_Harrison9's blogs, last updated : March 25, 2009
