brush away the cobwebs radiator christ the flies in here suicide bombers terrorists for a northern light that will shoot them up one evening stoned stumble up church steps moon illuminate our wing beats capital be damned son of sally darling daughter of the holy lamb take me or leave me 1920s skyscraper where i’ve parked my dirigible for the night fights heart turnacit control an even flow sing for seeds to grow or die trying relive the past relationships machete notches in a mast slaveship come home to rest my breast is beast like ocean my mouth hate god love god go god go
Entered into eachothers bloodstreams staining bricks
On our way down tumbling like boulders too heavy to move
Rolling again breathing again in eachothers ringlet hair
smelling good finally
Athena roared in our shoulders we were tired but adrenaline
bass drum kicked through steady heartbeat that I could feel hard through your
chest like we were made out of bees thousands of them who have just found their
Fell asleep at the base of the tree
Ivy green at dusk
Wind smelled like snake whispers
That night we were sure we were luckier than anyone to come
before or after
When we broke out of the covers the black traffic
Golf ball hollow racket in the street dogs crying bullies
huddled with the bullied for warmth under cardboard box cover echoes the third
flood signs of the apocolypse
At the window looking down at mothers calling in their
Before they all get washed away I turn to tell you to grab
our long black trenches
We need to get out of here now but you’re sleeping still
mouth open nickel-hole wide inhaling softly to let as much as possible inside
and then out like a wish
You know is going to come true when the air is hot and humid
and in spite of it all
You’re walking towards the baddest motherfucker in the bar
to tell him straight all for you all for you and you won’t know it because
you’re asleep but I’m praying for you to make it past me, I’m hoping to die
Falling apart earthquake slits in the pavement downstairs
And against all reason kicking off boots slipping out of
pants unbuttoning shirts
What you looked like With lipstick on Next to the three foot high Fake Christmas tree Is hard for me To resee On my desk Every morning That underwater state Head buried in the pillow folds Searching for Atlantis
But to let go of history Is silly and leaves a worse taste Than the projection of the warmth In every bit of you hidden under your jacket
And that lipstick Makes me want to stand vertical But I’m caught below deck With an anchor tied around my neck Asking passing Mermaids for a bandaid and a smile To put off the inevitable rebirth I’ve been waiting for for the longest while
On my back on a blue plastic mattress Skin sticking to the night Outside the air is spinning And the trees are breaking down Like a cracking carborator My lips sputter and squirm Under the pressure of the moon Pushing in and out my lungs and heart Move separately and grind Until the morning bird sings the first note And my insides are a diamond.
How fitting The breeze should blow so hard today That trees are stripped of their flowers And buildings are stripped of their shingles
I pass a circle of spring petals Arranged in a clearing by some forgotten hands Like the sandcastle that deteriorates still Even though the children are now in bed back home
There is no one to be the caretaker for the world today There are only the shadows I pass on their way to work And only my shadow watching me expectantly Constantly forever, How could the same hands that constructed love Also have constructed pressure
The children in their bed have an inner ear infection But they don’t even know it yet The pain is dull and rising Every day they are closer to maturity Every day they fear less about the seasons And more about how far they can let the fire spread Before it consumes their world.
I see the child in the earth still young, fingers cats cradled in blue string; a twitch creates a river, a wriggle splinters a home- a sack of blood and movement surrounded by magma and stone
you feel at your cheek- as if you were holding your lungs still it turns purple quickly- the dogs wait at the window big black eyes, they hear nothing but the rain, they do not even hear the blood pitter on the hardwood-
two hands move in silence only seen when lightning strobes- those used to be mine;
I see your bruises blossom I see the fingernails rake my breast I see the child of the earth contract his muscles to make a fist
I just need to start, head down, protect the jaw- where were you when work was done with the trowel and hammer boats were made of wood and were sailed in the backwaters the marshes overgrew and held movement still;
arms up, move first, first move quick jab, jab!- the Volga, my mother, flew clean and brisk, bathers rose at six am to cleanse the dark night from their skin- and within the sky was the crescent moon linger and within the water was the crescent moon ripple;
the eyes, watch their movements, clench, pull the trigger- you saw the smoke take control of the horizon but when you arrived at the battleground all you saw was a mole- deformed, tumored, pregnant, and when she asked "help" you dreamily wondered where the water had went
and drank in toxins until june 1985 where Stalin found your bones after cutting the red tickertape and exploring the newly drained lake basin.
He stacked the skulls, you and the mole's, and suddenly knew his empire was immortal.
what you said that frogs don't drink alchoholic or not made my heart swell. And I pictured a balloon on a clear summer day, string attached to my chest, rising past the world's ceiling. I wave to the sun, the sun waves back then the planets; coloring book colors all purple o- range, red seeping out from their predetermined lines, I look back, over the water the white clouds swirl your words always make me smile you beautiful beautiful girl
Were we? Inside. Did we? Watch it finally fall. H by H? C by C. Cold now? No not so much. Numb? A little.
What hurts? me, me hurts. Where are? The ribs I hear they are our last? We hope last hope, I’m sick of blood? Of flesh.
In my hand the Ribs? We shall, shall we? Eat if you know what… what I want to be? Of course, of course, I know then what? A tree. Won’t you? Die, of course.
You? I’ll be a dragon and die? Of course, as any dragon will die without heat will we be? When we’re gone none left? The bliss the silence, no echo just atoms fall, cold? Without us, frigid. Without us is this? Real? No. Is this humane? No. Is this human?
When we’re left alone at the end of the evening The champagne bubbling like a volcano in our tummies,
The friends have passed out, some with their own hair In their mouths, and their eyes blister like trout Bubbling, a pot of boiling water, dreaming,
It’s cold in here, the windows open And you have a dream catcher that wriggles with the breeze It reminds me of my father so much I don’t even feel The arms twist around me like apple roots
Down in the earth outside I hear an earthworm It wants to wish you a happy birthday too But it has no mouth, it has no hands, It has no way to declare it’s love for you; It has no tongue, it has no arms, I guess my translation will have to do
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you We turn off the lights Look into the dark Face our fears with tightening fingers And promise to always Survive. Always.